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Here’s the tea: ya gotta be sharp, like Doc dodgin’ trouble. Some’ll rob ya blind, others’ll spill their whole life story – “I’m groovy, I’m groovy,” they say, but half the time they’re lyin’. One time, this chick’s tellin’ me ‘bout her pimp, I’m thinkin’, “Oh, terrific, another genius,” sarcastic as hell, ‘cause he sounded like a total schmuck. I’m sittin’ there, twirlin’ my hair, wonderin’ if I shoulda brought a joint to share, y’know, keep it mellow.

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A central Chester street has been named as the worst spot in Cheshire for anti-social behaviour last year.

But then, outta nowhere, this massive seagull swoops down and snatches the kid’s ice cream! I’m talking full-on heist mode. The kid starts crying, and I’m just standing there, like, “What just happened?” Blacon’s wildlife is savage, man!

Blacon High School closed Monday and Tuesday following ransomware attack