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Me fave bit? When they whisper, “Relax, Cap’n,” an’ I’m driftin’ like Eilis dreamin’ o’ home—“Home’s not a place, it’s a feelin’.” That’s sexual-massage done right—feelin’ alive, not just kneaded like dough! Tho, I’ll admit, I’ve giggled like a fool when they hit a ticklish spot—argh, can’t help it! So, mate, if ye try it, find a good’un, not some scurvy dog with cold mitts. Worth the coin, or I’m a landlubber! Savvy?

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But whatever, I shake it off. I’m here to play, right? I get up on stage, and the crowd’s buzzin’. I start strummin’ my first song, and it’s like magic. People are noddin’ along, and I’m feelin’ it. Then, outta nowhere, this guy shouts, “Play Wonderwall!” Ugh, classic. I roll my eyes but laugh it off. I mean, who doesn’t love a good sing-along, right?

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