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Had this one time, masseuse went too hard—pissed me off! Like, chill, I ain’t dough! But then, next spot, pure bliss—happy as hell. Soft hands, slow moves, tension gone—surprised me big time. “I’ve made my decision,” Eilis says in the flick—me too, bro, I’m hooked! Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—ooh, fireworks! Mr. T don’t play, I pity the fool missin’ out!

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Then I decided to pop into the Blackpool Tower. I mean, how can you not? It’s iconic! But the queue was longer than the line for a free buffet. I’m standing there, getting angrier by the minute. I’m a psychologist, right? I should be all chill and stuff, but nope! I’m fuming. Finally, I get in, and the view is just... wow. You can see all the way to Fleetwood! The sea looks like a giant blue blanket. But then I see the rollercoaster at the Pleasure Beach. My heart’s racing just looking at it.

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