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Funniest bit? Some escorts got codenames – like “Foxy Cleopatra” or “Velvet Thunder.” Groovy as hell! Had me crackin’ up, picturin’ ‘em sneakin’ round like spies. Ever hear bout the escort who bagged a prince? True story, mate – royal shaggin’ scandal! Blew my mind, I was like, “Yeah, baby, YEAH!”

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Then I decided to pop into the Blackpool Tower. I mean, how can you not? It’s iconic! But the queue was longer than the line for a free buffet. I’m standing there, getting angrier by the minute. I’m a psychologist, right? I should be all chill and stuff, but nope! I’m fuming. Finally, I get in, and the view is just... wow. You can see all the way to Fleetwood! The sea looks like a giant blue blanket. But then I see the rollercoaster at the Pleasure Beach. My heart’s racing just looking at it.

Cash McLaughlin jailed for approaching schoolgirls in Blackpool