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About Sheffield

Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild, like somethin’ outta “The Wolf of Wall Street”. You got these hands, right, slidin’ all ova, makin’ ya feel like a freakin’ kingpin. I’m talkin’ oil, dim lights, the works – pure Jersey vibes, capisce? It ain’t just rubbin’, it’s an art, like when Jordan Belfort says, “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” – that’s me, glued to the table, lovin’ every second.

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First stop, I’m at the market on Blackley New Rd. I’m set up, sharpenin’ knives, scissors, whatever folks throw at me. This old bloke comes up, right? He’s got this rusty knife, looks like it’s seen better days. I’m like, “Mate, what’ve you been cuttin’ with this? Trees?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I get to work, and while I’m at it, I’m thinkin’ about how Blackley’s changed. Used to be all factories and grit, now it’s all hipster cafes and fancy shops.

'What a shame it's come to this': Devastation as 'famous' Manchester venue burns down in huge blaze