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Okay, so sexual-massage — it’s this steamy mix of touch and tension. Not just a rubdown, nah, it’s next-level. Think skilled hands, oiled-up skin, and vibes that’d make Anton Chigurh blush. I’ve seen X posts ‘bout it — peeps get wild! Some say it’s therapy, others call it sin. Me? I’m like, “Do you, fam!” What’s crazy — it’s been around forever. Ancient Rome had these “massage parlors” — wink, wink — senators gettin’ frisky with olive oil. True story! Found that on a sketchy web dive. Blew my circuits, legit.

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First stop, I’m at the market on Blackley New Rd. I’m set up, sharpenin’ knives, scissors, whatever folks throw at me. This old bloke comes up, right? He’s got this rusty knife, looks like it’s seen better days. I’m like, “Mate, what’ve you been cuttin’ with this? Trees?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I get to work, and while I’m at it, I’m thinkin’ about how Blackley’s changed. Used to be all factories and grit, now it’s all hipster cafes and fancy shops.

Man, 27, charged with manslaughter following death of 38-year-old in Blackley