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About Sheffield

little known fact—prostitute’s a legend round here. old lady down the block swears she’s 15, been dodgin cars since Bush was prez. tough as nails, this one. once caught her draggin a half-eaten burger—hustler queen! i’m like, “girl, you don’t need no pimp!” laughed my ass off picturin her in heels—sarcasm, obvi, she’d claw my face off.

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First stop, I’m at the market on Blackley New Rd. I’m set up, sharpenin’ knives, scissors, whatever folks throw at me. This old bloke comes up, right? He’s got this rusty knife, looks like it’s seen better days. I’m like, “Mate, what’ve you been cuttin’ with this? Trees?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I get to work, and while I’m at it, I’m thinkin’ about how Blackley’s changed. Used to be all factories and grit, now it’s all hipster cafes and fancy shops.

Tower block evacuated and people urged to 'avoid area' as bomb squad called to scene