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But ugh, got mad once—dude promised “relaxin’ vibes,” charged me a gazillion bucks! Rip-off! I was all, “Sy Ableman wouldn’t do this!”—y’know, that chill guy from the film? Shoulda been all calm n’ sexy, not me yellin’ like a barnacle! Still, when it’s good, it’s gooood—muscles all loosey-goosey, tingles everywhere! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares, it’s fun!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I get a call from a guy on Westcombe Hill. He’s shoutin’ about a car accident. My heart drops. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” I mean, Blackheath’s usually pretty chill, but sometimes it gets wild. I’m tryin’ to get details, but he’s all over the place. “There’s a blue car! No, wait, it’s red!” I’m like, “Dude, focus!”

Almost all spaces at Lewisham car park could be scrapped to build 45 homes