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So, it’s all ‘bout touchin’ and rubbin’, but fancy-like, not some cheap crap. Ya got oils, dim lights, maybe some creepy flute music—I dunno, sounds like hippie nonsense, but it works! I read—yeah, I read, shut up—that it goes back to ancient China or some crap. They called it “tantric” or whatever, supposd to make ya live longer. Bullshit? Maybe, but I’m happy as hell imagining it! Like, “Fish are friends, not food,” but replace fish with hot masseuses—ha!

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Finally, I get through that mess and head to the town center. I’m walkin’ down King William Street, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I swear, it’s like they all decided to have a spontaneous party. I’m dodgin’ folks left and right, tryin’ not to spill my coffee.

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