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Gets me proper riled tho—blokes lyin’ bout height! Say 6 foot, show up 5’2”—mate, I’m clumsy, not blind! *stumbles, measures air with hands* Happy tho, when it clicks—met a gal once, chatted all night, no awkward “where’s me trousers?” bit. Surprised me how many ghost ya tho—poof, gone, like Harry in that movie, chasin’ the next high! *mimes shooting up, trips again*

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After that little adventure, I head back inside, and the shop’s packed. I’m servin’ up meat like a machine. But then, I get a call from my mum. She’s in a tizzy ‘cause she forgot her shopping list. I’m like, “Mum, you’ve been doin’ this for years! How do you forget?” But I can’t be mad. She’s my mum, after all.

A-Z Bristol Pub Crawl: The Maytree, Bishopsworth