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Dunno, tho – sometimes it’s dark, innit? Dangerous gigs, dodgy punters. Gets me twitchy, thinkin’ they’re out there alone. “Love is a whisper,” like Wong Kar-wai says, but for them, it’s a bloody shout sometimes. Ever hear ‘bout that escort who nicked a politician’s watch? True story! Left him starkers in a hotel, runnin’ after her. Cracked me up, that ballsy move! We swears, precious, escorts got guts! What ya reckon, eh? They’re mad, brill, an’ a bit tragic – like me!

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But then, I hit the high street. And wow, it’s packed! I mean, I get it, it’s a Saturday, but c’mon! I’m dodging prams and old folks like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. Almost takes me out! I’m like, “Oi! Watch it, mate!” But he just laughs and speeds off. Kids these days, right?

Appeal for information after jewellery and coin collection stolen during burglary