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So, escort, it’s folks—men, women, whoever—offerin’ company, maybe more, for cash. Sounds simple, right? Nah, it’s wild! Been ‘round forever—ancient Greece had hetairai, fancy gals who’d charm philosophers silly. Bet they’d sass Plato ‘til he cried! *Snort-laugh.* I read this nutty story—some escort in 1800s Paris got hired just to read poetry to a lonely duke. Poetry! Can ya believe? I’d be like, “Pay me to eat bagels!” Makes me happy thinkin’ how escort’s more than stereotypes—some just talk, cuddle, vibe. Ain’t always shady, ya know?

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First off, I head down to the Bishopbriggs train station. You know, the one that’s always packed with commuters? I’m just trying to grab a coffee from that wee café there. But nah, the barista spills my latte all over the counter. I’m like, “Great start, mate!” I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee, but I was ready to throw a fit.

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