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About Leicester

I’m ragin’ sometimes, scrollin’ X, seein’ these clowns braggin’. “Banged three birds this week!” Oh, piss off, you sad wanker. Happy though, when you hear rare wins – mate of mine, proper shy lad, found a fit lass on Tinder. Six years now, still bonkin’ like rabbits. Surprised me, that – thought he’d die a virgin, the muppet.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate Dave. He’s like, “Oi, you gotta see this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a cat stuck in a tree on Market Place. Classic. I mean, who hasn’t seen that before? But this ain’t just any cat. It’s a massive Maine Coon. I’m talking about a beast that looks like it could take on a small dog.

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