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Last week, took a call, chick whisperin bout her “massage sesh.” I’m like, girl, spill it! She’s gigglin, says her masseuse “accidentally” grazed her goodies. Accidental my ass – that’s the game! Sexual-massage ain’t just relaxation, it’s teeterin on that edge, ya feel me? Like Jep says, “This is how it always ends… with death.” Well, death of tension, maybe a lil death down south, heh. Exaggeratin? Sure, but that’s the kick – it’s naughty, sloppy, human.

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I finally make it home, exhausted but kinda happy. I plop down on my couch, and I can’t help but laugh at the day’s chaos. Birmingham, you wild city! You’ve got my heart, even if you drive me mad sometimes.

Transfer notebook: Contracts, loanees and what Birmingham City desperately need