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About Leicester

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ wit aplenty, savvy? Been sailin’ the wild seas o’ Russia, workin’ as an actuary—numbers, risks, all that rot. But today, I’m spillin’ the grog on escorts, aye! Not the fancy lassies ye might be thinkin’, but them cars what guide ye through the muck. Like in me favorite flick, *A Prophet*, y’know? “You’re not alone in this,” says I, but escorts? They’re yer shadow, mate!

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Then, I get a call from the landlord. Apparently, there’s a leak in my flat. Great. Just what I need. I’m picturing my living room turning into a swimming pool. I’m about to lose it. I mean, can’t a person catch a break?

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