Ella Birchington On Sea Sexual Massage ❤️

About Leicester

Oi, you lot, listen up! Me, Ricky Gervais, cackling like a mad bastard, here to tell ya about sexual-massage. Yeah, that dodgy rub-down that’s half bliss, half “what the fuck?!” Imagine some oily geezer kneading your bits, whispering, “You can’t handle the truth!” – wait, wrong film. Nah, it’s more like *No Country for Old Men*, innit? Tense as fuck, unpredictable, and you’re praying no one flips a coin for your bollocks.

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So, I roll into work at The Royal Oak, right on the corner of Canterbury Road and Station Road. Nice little pub, cozy vibes, ya know? I’m just setting up, pouring myself a cheeky pint of lager, when in walks this group of tourists. They’re all hyped up, chattin’ about the beach. Like, yeah, it’s nice, but c’mon, it’s Birchington! We ain’t exactly Ibiza.

Plans for 1600 property development on Birchington farmland to be discussed by councillors