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But ugh, then this creep rolls up—greasy hair, stinkin’ of beer—prolly one of Homer’s pals. He’s all, “How much, baby?” and I’m ragin’ inside, like, “Leave her alone, jerk!” She handles it tho—sass level 100—tells him to buzz off. I’m cheerin’ in my head, “That’s my girl!” Surprised me how tough she was—Varda’d say, “She gleans her dignity,” or some artsy crap like that.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that www.facebook.comg: Bingley.

First off, I had to deal with this shipment from the industrial estate on the outskirts. You know, that place near the Bingley bypass? Yeah, that one. So, I’m there, trying to coordinate with the drivers, and guess what? One of ‘em gets stuck on Main Street. Like, seriously? Main Street? It’s not even rush hour! Turns out, he took a wrong turn at the roundabout. Classic. I’m just standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “What’s next? A cow on the road?”

A Christmas Carol - Bingley Arts Centre