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Mate, it’s a laugh – cheap as chips, parts everywhere, you can flog it together with spit and hope. Sarcasm? Oh, yeah, “luxury ride,” my arse – seats hard as a brick, but who gives a toss? Gets ya from A to B, don’t it? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d rather hoon an Escort than polish some Tesla tosspot’s ego. “Don’t shoot, I beg of you!” – movie again, me yellin’ at the coppers when I floored it once, haha, close call that!

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Treat yourself to some elite company in the Billingshurst area. With high-class, professional and friendly companions available for incalls, outcalls, dinner dates and first-class company. Same .

Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a quid for every twist today threw at me, I’d be rich. So, I’m a detective, right? And today started off like any other. Woke up in my flat on Station Road, bleary-eyed and grumpy. Coffee was a must. I mean, who can solve crimes without caffeine? Not me, that’s for sure.

'Accident waiting to happen': Concerns over exit at new Sussex village service station