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Lemme tell ya, I got happy as a pig in mud watchin’ these critters on a dive once. Down in the Keys, water clear as moonshine, I seen an escort trailin’ a barracuda – shiny silver scales flashin’ like a dang disco ball. Made me think of Viggo Mortensen in that diner scene – “You’re a long way from home, pal!” – ‘cept this fish ain’t lost, he’s right where he belongs, moochin’ off the big guy. Cracked me up, man! Nature’s got a sense of humor, don’t it?

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So, I get to the scene, and it’s a right mess. The poor sod was just lying there, and I’m thinking, “What the hell happened here?” The locals are all gathered, gossiping like it’s the latest episode of EastEnders. I overhear some old lady saying it’s a curse from the old mill. I chuckle. Curses? Really? This ain’t Hogwarts, love.

New venue for Billingshurst Choral Society's next concert