Elizabeth Billinge Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Bristol

I got into it once, right? This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “Goddamn, this feels good!” But then—BOOM—my back pops loud as fuck. She jumps, I laugh, she’s all, “You okay, motherfucker?” I’m dyin’, man, it’s hilarious. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, they was all about sexual-massage. Called it some fancy shit—*anatripsis*. Rubbin’ dudes down after wrestlin’, gettin’ freaky with it. History’s wild, yo.

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But then, as I’m munching away, I see this guy on the corner of Church St. He’s got a sign that says “Free Hugs.” I’m like, “What? Is this a thing now?” So, I go up to him, and he’s super chill. We hug it out, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, he starts talking about the meaning of life. I’m just standing there, half-eaten sausage roll in hand, thinking, “Bro, I just wanted a hug, not a TED Talk.”

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