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About Leeds

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, lissten up, sexual-massage is wild! Like, outta this galaxy wild. Me and my alien buds, we’re zoomin’ thru space, watchin’ humans rubbin’ each other down, and I’m like—what the hell?! It’s all slippery oils, dim lights, and weird moans. Reminds me of *Mad Max: Fury Road*—total chaos, but sexy chaos. “Witness me!”—screamin’ that while slidin’ hands over someone’s back? Hilarious!

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I decide to take a stroll down the High St. to clear my head. It’s a nice day, sun’s out, people are out. I pass by this little bakery, and OMG, the smell! Fresh pastries everywhere. I’m like, “Forget the diet!” I grab a sausage roll. Best decision ever. I mean, who can resist a flaky pastry? Not me, that’s for sure.

Six bedroom property for sale via auction as hairdressers to vacate premises