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About Myself
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About Birmingham
Ever tried it with eucalyptus oil? Smells like a forest fucked a mint—zingy as hell. Pro tip: warm the oil first, cold hands are a buzzkill. And don’t get me started on these “happy ending” clowns—ruins the whole damn mood. It’s not a race, ya twit, it’s a dance. “Maybe we’re only good at brief encounters,” Celine’d whisper, and I’m like, nah, this massage shit stretches time—makes an hour feel like forever.
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I finally found a corner and called my client. They were freaking out about their coach. Apparently, the coach was being a total jerk. I mean, c’mon, it’s just sports! I tried to calm them down, but I was getting angrier by the second. Coaches need to chill too!
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