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Ever tried it? Hands slippin’ south, all slow-like—bloody hell, it’s art! Reminds me of Carlos, that slick bastard, when he says, “I’m not here to play games.” But sexual-massage *is* a game, and I’m winnin’. Once had this lass in King’s Landing—swear her fingers were magic. Thought I’d died and met the Seven. Made me laugh, too—she’s kneadin’ my arse, I’m thinkin’, “This beats council meetings.”

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We finally find the fire, and it’s a beast. I’m throwing water like it’s going outta style. But it’s not working! I’m getting frustrated. “C’mon, c’mon!” I’m shouting. Then, outta nowhere, I spot a family trapped in a corner. My heart sinks. “We gotta get them out!” I yell to Dave.

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