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Like, check this—dude I met last week, total catfish! Profile says six-foot, ripped, shows up lookin’ like a soggy sausage roll. Ruh-roh! I’m pissed, right? Wasted my night! But then this chick last month—woof, she was fire! Met her on Tinder, she’s all “let’s skip the bullshit,” and we’re bangin’ by midnight. Made me happy as a pup with a bone! Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—sometimes ya score, sometimes ya flop.

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We land near the warehouse, and it’s chaos. Flames are shooting up like they’re auditioning for a movie. I jump out, adrenaline pumping. My buddy Dave’s yelling, “Let’s go!” We grab our gear and start making our way in. The heat hits you like a brick wall. I’m sweating buckets, and my brain’s like, “What are you doing, man? This is nuts!”

Woman slapped with £1,800 fine after fly-tipped construction waste had her address on