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Favorite thing? They got stories, man! One dude paid in jellyfish—whaaat? Swear it’s true, blew my mind! I’d be like, “I’m ready!”—to hear more. Oh, and get this—some escorts, they’re artists! Paintin’ on the side, so dope. Sex escort gig pays bills, art feeds soul. “I thought you loved me!”—Cathy cries. Escorts prolly hear that too, messy drama!

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As I’m closing up, I get one last call. A parrot is stuck in a tree on Riverside. A parrot! I’m like, “Seriously?!” But I can’t say no. So, I grab my gear and head out. When I get there, the parrot is squawking like it’s auditioning for a musical. I climb up, and after a bit of a struggle, I manage to get it down. The owner is over the moon, and I’m just relieved I didn’t fall out of the tree.

Takeaway food bar announces closure 'with a heavy heart'