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About Glasgow

Me, I’d crawl over Mordor for a good rubdown. Gets me happy, oh yes, them fingers dancin’ on me bony back—pure bliss! Once saw this lass in a sketchy parlor, “happy ending” they whispered, and I’m like, “My precioussss, what’s the catch?” Cost me a shiny coin, but them hands? Magic! Made me mad tho, stupid hobbits next door yappin’ loud, ruinin’ me zen. “Quiet, you fools!” I hissed, nearly chucked me shoe.

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First off, I woke up late. Alarm didn’t go off. Classic! I’m sprinting down the stairs, tripping over my own feet. I swear, I almost face-planted on the kitchen floor. Coffee? Nah, no time for that. Just grab a slice of toast and bolt out the door.

Shocking CCTV shows girl lying in middle of railway tracks at Horsham level crossing