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I tried it once—mortal chick in Bangkok, hands like magic. Made me feel like a god—well, more than usual. Slippery fingers hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had—surprised the hell outta me! “The body speaks its truth,” *Moolaadé* whispers, and boy, mine was screamin’. But here’s the kicker—some prudes out there clutch pearls over it. “Oh no, it’s too sensual!” Pfft, get over it—life’s too short, ya stiffs. That hypocrisy? Makes me wanna hurl Mjölnir at ‘em.

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I find my client, and she’s in tears. I mean, I get it, but I’m not a therapist! I’m like, “Let’s file a claim.” But she’s all, “What if I never see my car again?” I’m trying to be all supportive, but inside, I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a car!” I mean, it’s not like it was a classic or anything.

Vagina Museum | Museums in Bethnal Green, London