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Now, lean in, here’s the quirky bit—I’m obsessin’ over their shoes, yeah? Always shiny, clickin’ like beetle wings. Why’s that stick in my head? Dunno, mate, but it’s hypnotic. Oh, and the stories! Heard one about an escort who nicked a bloke’s watch mid-date—cheeky minx! Laughed my arse off imaginin’ him chasin’ her, trousers half-down. Sarcasm? Sure, half these punters think they’re Casanova, but they’re just wallets with legs—escorts know it too, takin’ the piss behind their backs.

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Suddenly, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your numbers.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” I’m trying to explain my day, but he’s not having it. “Excuses, excuses,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Bethnal Green! It’s a jungle out here!”

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