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About Leeds

See, I reckon it’s like when Eilis in *Brooklyn*—me fave flick, mind ye—says, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die.” That’s me after a bad rub-down, mate! Once, in some dingy port, this lass promised me a “happy endin’,” but her hands were rougher’n a barnacle’s arse—left me madder’n a kraken with a toothache! I says, “Lass, ye call that pleasure? I’ve had better from a ship’s rope!” She just smirked, like she knew somethin’ I didn’t. Savvy?

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After that, I’m walking down the High Street, and I see this street performer on the corner of the Market Square. He’s playing the ukulele, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I stop to listen, and suddenly, a crowd gathers. It’s like a mini concert! I’m vibing, feeling good, when outta nowhere, this kid runs past and knocks my phone right outta my hand. I’m like, “Oi! Watch it!” But he just laughs and keeps running. Kids these days, right?

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