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Oi, mate, lemme spin ye a yarn ‘bout escorts, savvy? I’m a librarian, aye, but not yer dusty bookworm—think more rum-soaked, sea-legged, like meself, Cap’n Jack Sparrow! Escorts, now, they ain’t just fancy lasses or gents fer hire, no sir. They be like them shadowy whales in *Werckmeister Harmonies*, loomin’ large, mysterious, pullin’ folks into their orbit. “What’s this all about?” ye ask, stumblin’ thru life like János in that flick, all wide-eyed and lost.

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Next, I decide to take a breather and stroll along the Grand Union Canal. It’s beautiful there, you know? The ducks are quacking, the sun’s shining, and I’m trying to chill. But then, I see this couple arguing on the towpath. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy the view, and they’re making it awkward. I’m thinking, “Get a room, guys!”

Sorbon Estates acquires former Berkhamsted Costa