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Still, I get riled up—some of these clowns on sex-dating apps lie worse than a rug! Sayin’ they 6’2” when they 5’5” in platform boots! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “A memory can change the shape of a room,” like in the movie—y’all catch that? They out here shapin’ whole lives with fake pics! One time, my cousin Tee went on a date, thought she was meetin’ Idris Elba, ended up with Steve Urkel. I cackled for DAYS, but she was HOT!

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So, I dive into my own work, right? I’m under this SUV, and I swear, it’s like a sauna down there. I’m sweatin’ buckets, and just when I think it can’t get worse, I hear this loud crash outside. I bolt up, bang my head on the exhaust pipe—ouch! I stumble out to see what’s goin’ on.

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