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Oi mate, gather round! I’m Winston bloody Churchill, reborn as a randy ol’ Furrier, here to yap about erotic-massage. We shall fight—yes, fight!—against the dreary mundane, wrestle with the shadows of lust like in me fave flick, *Shame*. That movie, Christ almighty, it’s a gut-punch—Brandon’s a bloke drowning in his own filth, chasing tail and wanking himself raw. “You’re a plague!” his sister screams, and bugger me, ain’t that the truth? Erotic-massage, tho, it’s a different beast—less guilt, more grit.

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So, I dive into my own work, right? I’m under this SUV, and I swear, it’s like a sauna down there. I’m sweatin’ buckets, and just when I think it can’t get worse, I hear this loud crash outside. I bolt up, bang my head on the exhaust pipe—ouch! I stumble out to see what’s goin’ on.

Jewish mother considering leaving UK after son attacked at London Tube station