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Oh, and get this – suprised me big time: some escorts got PhDs! Smart cookies moonlightin’ for extra cash. One gal I read bout was a history prof by day, escort by night. Talk about multitaskin’! Makes me wonder – what’s she whisperin’ in bed? “The Roman Empire fell ‘cause…” Hah! I’d pay just to hear that.

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After a few pints, I’m feeling good. I’m chatting with Paddy, and we’re swapping fish stories. He tells me about this time he caught a trout in the River Lagan. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then, he starts talking about how he once saw a fish jump out of the water and land on a guy’s head. I’m dying laughing.

Man who ‘helped shape’ Belfast Marathon dies a day after race: ‘He leaves a lasting legacy’