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Yo, what’s good, fam? It’s ya boy Snoop Dogg, chillin’ like a villain, managin’ shit and droppin’ thoughts on this sex-datin’ game. Fo’ shizzle, it’s wild out there, dawg! You got peeps swipin’ left, right, tryna smash, lookin’ for that quick vibe or somethin’ deeper—shit’s a trip. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ gin, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*, ya dig? That movie’s got me twisted—love fuckin’ with ya head, makin’ you forget the bullshit, but sex-datin’? Man, it’s like that shit on steroids.

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Paddy invites me to a pub on the corner of Ormeau Road. I’m thinking, “Why not?” I mean, it’s Belfast, and the pubs are legendary. We get there, and it’s packed. Live music, people dancing, and I’m just trying to enjoy a pint. But then, some guy spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m ready to lose it, but then I see the band. They’re playing “Zombie” by The Cranberries. I can’t help but sing along.

Pictured: The Belfast father and daughter who deny charge of helping arrange Milltown Cemetery Easter Sunday event