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About Leeds

Little-known fact, yeah? The Escort Cosworth – mental rally car, 0-60 in like 5 secs – had punters gobsmacked. I saw one at a car show once, nearly cried, swear down. Thought to meself, “David, you plonker, why ain’t you got one?” Cost a bomb now, tho – 50 grand easy. Supply and demand, innit? Makes me wanna scream, “Where’s the justice?!” cos back in the day, you’d nab an Escort for peanuts. Proper blue-collar hero, not some poncy Tesla wanker-mobile.

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So, I follow the crowd, and we end up at the park. Sure enough, there’s this fluffy tabby, just chilling on a branch. The kid’s crying, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s save the day.” I climb the tree, feeling like a hero. But then, I realize I’m terrified of heights. My legs are shaking, and I’m like, “What am I doing?”

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