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About Leeds

Met this chick once, total Sith vibe. Said she’s “open-minded,” ha! Ghosted me fast—boom, hyperspace exit. Little fact: 70% flake online, true story. Pissed me off, wasted my dark-side charm. But then—oh, surprise—found this Tattooine babe. Spicy chat, real spark, no bullshit. “I’m still alive,” I thought—movie line fits! Hooked up, lightsabers clashed, epic night.

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Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I sit on a bench, munching away, and life feels good again. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right outta my hand! I’m like, “Hey! That’s my dinner!” But the bird’s just flying off, looking all smug. I can’t even be mad. It’s a seagull’s world, and I’m just living in it.

Three primary schools join forces to protest leisure centre cuts