Isabella Beckenham Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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It’s all about the vibe, see. You’re lying there, starkers, some stranger’s paws all over ya, and it’s like Anton Chigurh’s in the room – “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” – except it’s your dignity, not your life. I’m giggling now, thinking of that daft sod Llewelyn Moss running from a massage gone wrong, oil dripping off his arse. Priceless! Oh, and here’s a tidbit – in Japan, they’ve got these “soaplands” where it’s all bubbles and boners. Been around since the ‘50s, sneaky bastards dodging laws. Surprised me, that – thought they were all about sushi and robots.

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Find the latest massage service in Beckenham, London on Gumtree. Choose between all the oriental, full body, deep tissue, sport or relaxing massages offered.

While I’m waiting, I glance out the window. There’s this old bloke on a bench, feeding pigeons. And I’m thinking, “Mate, those birds are gonna take over the world one day.” Seriously, they’re like little feathered ninjas. One of ‘em even swoops down and snatches a scone right outta some lady’s hand. I’m cracking up, but she’s not having it.

New six-storey retirement living development proposed in Beckenham