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So, picture this – I’m cruisin’ in my imaginary Escort, top down – wait, did it even have a top? Who cares! I’m blastin’ tunes, feelin’ like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig and fur coat, all moody and fab. This car, lemme tell ya, it’s the underdog of rides. Started in the 60s, Euro trash vibes, then bam – America got it in the 80s. Total glow-up! I’m obsessed, it’s so ugly it’s cute, ya know?

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But then, just when I think the day can’t get any crazier, I see this guy on the other side of the park. He’s juggling flaming torches. I’m not even kidding! I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “What the actual heck?” He drops one, and it goes flying into a bush. Everyone gasps, and I’m just standing there, laughing my head off. Only in Bearsden, right?

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