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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? *beep* Cosmic wisdom hittin’ here. Like, escorts, man, they’re out there—floatin’ in spacetime. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”. You seen it? My fave, hands down. That slow vampire vibe—*beep*—eternity’s a grind, innit? Escorts tho, they’re like Eve, y’know? Tilda Swinton’s charactr. All mysterious, livin’ night to night. “Survival is a choice,” she says. Escorts get that—hustlin’, survivin’, cosmic dance of cash.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the job site. It’s on Milngavie Road, and let me tell ya, it’s a right pain in the backside. The client is this old bloke, Mr. McGregor. He’s a proper character, always moaning about something. Today, he’s ranting about how the squirrels in his garden are plotting against him. I mean, mate, it’s just squirrels! Chill out! But I can’t help but laugh. I’m like, “Mr. McGregor, they’re not after your biscuits, I promise!”

As one door closes another opens for the Thornwood team