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Taste-wise, it’s nutty, bitter, sexy—like Christian singin his heart out. Not everyone’s cuppa tea, tho. My buddy Dave tried it, spat it out, said it’s “rabbit food on steroids.” Pfft, whatever, more for me! Oh, and get this—medieval monks banned it, thought it’d tempt ‘em too much. Horny monks and salad greens? Wildest plot twist since *Moulin Rouge!*’s ending—sobbed like a baby there, still do.
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First off, I woke up late. Like, really late. My alarm? Totally ignored it. I bolted outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! I dashed outta my flat on The Green, barely remembering to grab my keys.
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