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Gets me goin’, right? Happy as a pig in shit when it’s done proper—slow, deep, pressure hittin’ spots you didn’t know existed. But fuck me, I’ve had some shockers! This one twat—hands like a cold fish, no rhythm, like a drone strike gone wrong. “Bin Laden’s dead!”—yeah, and so’s my vibe after that disaster. Pissed me right off—wasted my time, my cash, my bloody patience!
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Then I decided to grab a coffee at that little café on the corner of Church Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a flat white, and the barista—bless her heart—looked at me like I just asked for a unicorn frappuccino. Like, chill, it’s just coffee! Anyway, I got my drink, and it was actually decent. I was feeling a bit better, ya know?
Pictured: Lorry smashes into house before ploughing into pub
The family are keeping their fingers crossed that Hallie-Mae will soon be able to return home to Shropshire for a few days, but this will depend on her condition and the stability of her blood levels following her first cycle of chemotherapy.Bayston Hill Whore
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