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Dunno, mate, it’s half genius, half bollocks. You’re lyin’ there, vulnerable, hopin’ for magic fingers, and bam—some chit-chatty wench ruins it. “Where do you work?” Shut it, I’m tryna relax! Little fact: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—bath, rub, wink-wink—all legal-like. Surprised me—thought they were prim! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d wager half these joints are fronts for somethin’ shadier. “What do I want?” David asks in *A.I.*—mate, not this overpriced backrub with a side of guilt!

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Welcome to Body to Body London in Battersea, your sanctuary for sensual and intimate body-to-body massage experiences. Nestled in the heart of Battersea, our serene London location .

Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s this cyclist who just wiped out on the pavement. I mean, he went down hard! I rush over, half-expectin’ him to be all “I’m fine, mate,” but nah, he’s layin’ there like a starfish. I help him up, and he’s like, “I’m good, just my pride’s hurt.” I laugh, but inside I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you need to watch where you’re goin’!”

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