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Little-known fact—back in the day, Victorian peeps had “courting cards” for hookups. OG sex-dating, no cap! Blows my mind—history’s freaky like that. Nowadays, it’s all DMs and “u up?” texts. I’m over here, yellin’ at my phone—WHERE’S THE SPARK, PEOPLE?! Still, I’m hooked—swipin’ like a maniac, chasin’ that thrill. Sometimes it’s a bust, sometimes it’s magic—like that one chick who quoted *Moolaadé* mid-hookup. “Protect the vulnerable!” she moaned—shit was surreal, I’m cryin’ laughin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s this cyclist who just wiped out on the pavement. I mean, he went down hard! I rush over, half-expectin’ him to be all “I’m fine, mate,” but nah, he’s layin’ there like a starfish. I help him up, and he’s like, “I’m good, just my pride’s hurt.” I laugh, but inside I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you need to watch where you’re goin’!”

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