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Ever tried it? D’oh! Prolly not—you’re too square! Jokin’—but srsly, it’s chill. Oils smell dope, hands hit spots ya didn’t know existed! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but one time, heard this chick say it “unlocked her chakras.” Chakras? Sounded like a snack—made me hungry! Still, kinda cool, right? Anyway, gotta bounce—Marge’s yellin’ about somethin’. “You can’t keep doing this!” she’d scream, Tenenbaum-style. Later, dude—stay loose! D’oh!

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Finally, I grab my chips and head to the park again. I sit on a bench, munching away, and just take it all in. The sun’s setting, and Bathgate looks stunning. I’m feeling grateful, you know? Life’s a bit mad, but moments like this? They make it all worth it.

Woman's support group in memory of mum-of-two is officially opened in Bathgate