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About Leicester

So, sex escorts – they ain’t just hookers, alright? They’re pros, like, high-class shit. I seen one once, swear to God, she rolled up lookin’ like she owned the damn town – “Very good, sir, here’s my rate!” – straight outta Wes Anderson’s wet dream. Made me happy as hell, ‘cause she wasn’t some skank from South Park. Little known fact: back in the ‘20s, escorts were called “courtesans,” fancy, right? Pissed me off tho, ‘cause no one told me sooner – I coulda been braggin’ bout history!

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First off, I’m strolling down the High Street, just minding my own biz, when I spot this old guy feeding pigeons. Like, c’mon mate, it’s 2023! Who even does that? But then, I see a wee kid run up and try to grab a pigeon. Hilarious! The bird flaps off, and the kid’s face? Priceless! I’m laughing, and the old guy’s giving me the stink eye. Chill, dude! It’s just a bird!

Police seek help to trace missing 67-year-old man from Bathgate