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Ever think how old this gig is? Ancient Rome had ‘em—lupae, “she-wolves,” howlin’ for coins! Wild, right? Still here, still hustlin’. Makes me wonder—why we so shocked? Sex sells, always has. I’m over here sippin’ tea, spillin’ tea, lovin’ their guts. You?

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Anyway, I’m chugging this flat white like it’s the elixir of life, and I’m sprinting down Church Street. I’m dodging people like I’m in some sort of weird obstacle course. I swear, if I trip over one more person’s dog, I’m gonna lose it.

Water company celebrates record-breaking year for leak prevention