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But ooh, I got mad once—heard a story ‘bout this brothel in Nevada, real deal, where some jerk stiffed a girl her pay. Pissed me off! She worked hard, and he just—poof—gone! I was like, “Nuh-uh, honey, you don’t mess with a queen!” Made me wanna storm in, Oprah-style, and yell, “You get respect! You get respect!” ‘Cause these gals, they’re hustlin’, survivin’—ain’t no shame in that game.

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Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand! I’m cracking up! The kid’s face was priceless. I’m thinkin’, “That’s nature for ya!” But then, I see the seagull eyeing my bacon butty. I’m like, “Not today, feathered fiend!” I clutch my sandwich like it’s a golden ticket.

Verdict on apartments plans for Barton Market Place as 'historic' structure to be knocked down