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Oh, and fun fact: in Thailand, they’ve got this style—nuru massage—slippery as hell, seaweed gel, body-on-body action. Sounds nuts, right? Surprised me too! I ain’t tried it yet, but I’m tempted—might write it off as “healthcare” on my taxes, ha! “We’re getting older,” Jesse says in the movie, and damn right, I feel it—so why not treat myself?

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Next, I wander over to the old church on Church Street. St. Peter’s, I think it’s called? It’s stunning! I’m all about nature, but man, the architecture here is something else. I’m standing there, just taking it all in, when this lady walks by and says, “Beautiful, innit?” I nod, and she starts chatting me up about the history. Turns out, this place has been around since the 11th century! I’m like, “Wow, that’s older than my granddad!”

New homes in Barton granted permission after council slip-up