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I’m chuffed when it’s easy—spot a lass, quick chat, done. But the rip-offs? Bloody hell, makes me wanna bellow, “We shall fight ‘em on the beaches!” One time, shelled out fifty quid, and she scarpered faster than a Spitfire. Fumin’, I was—thought, “This is not a fuckin’ game!” like Leo screamin’ at his brokers. Still, there’s a thrill, yeah? The chase, the dodge—heart’s pumpin’, you’re alive! Ever tried it in the rain? Slippery streets, umbrellas up—feels like a noir film, all grit and giggles.

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After that, I head over to the office on Christchurch Road. Got a case to crack, right? Some dodgy claim about a “lost” yacht. Yeah, right. I mean, who loses a yacht? So, I’m digging through paperwork, and my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe this!” I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, he’s seen the yacht. It’s parked right by the pier! I’m like, “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

Plan to demolish former New Milton NHS site for block of flats