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Me? I’d be pissed if it’s all hype—no skill, just awkward gropin’. Done right, tho? Damn, that’s art. Hands slidin’, pressure hittin’ spots you didn’t know existed—makes ya feel alive. Kinda like when Alien Girl in *Spring Breakers* purrs, “Just pretend it’s a video game.” Erotic-massage is that—playin’ pretend, dodgin’ reality. Gets my heart racin’, not gonna lie. Surprised me first time I heard ‘bout it—thought it was all sketchy parlors. Nope, there’s legit talent out there, pros who know nerves like I know Vicodin.

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave pops in. He’s always got some wild story. “You won’t believe what happened!” he says, breathless. Turns out he saw a fox in the park. A fox! In Bartley-Green! I mean, we’re not exactly in the countryside, are we? I laughed so hard I nearly dropped Mrs. T’s boots. “What’s next, a deer?” I joked.

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